kaun kahat hai angrezi diphicult hai...
Laloo jee ki suno...
Laloo Prasad sent his Bio Data - to apply for a
post in Microsoft Corporation, USA.
A few days later he got this reply:

"Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad,
We are sorry to intimate you that you do not meet our
requirements.

Please do not send any further correspondence. No
phone call shall be entertained.
Thanks"

Laloo Prasad jumped with joy on receiving this reply.
He arranged a Party and when all the guests had come, he said:
"Bhaiyon aur Behno,aap ko jaan kar khushi hogee ki hum Amereeca mein
naukri paa gaya hoon."
Everyone was delighted.

Laloo Prasad continued...... "Ab main aap sab ko apnaa
appointment letter padkar sunaongaa - par letter angreeze main hai
- isliyen saath-saath hindi main translate bhee karoonga.

Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad ..... Pyare Laloo Prasad bhaiyya
We are sorry ...... humse galti ho gayee
to intimate you that .........aapko yeh batana hai ki
You do not meet ---- aap to miltay hee naheen ho
our requirement ---- humko to zaroorat hai

Please do not send any further correspondence ---- ab
Letter vetter bhej ne ka kaouno zaroorat naahi.

No phone call ---- phoonwa ka bhee zaroorat naahi hai
shall be entertained ---- bahut khaatir kee jayegi.
Thanks ---- aapkaa bahut bahut dhanyawaad

Employee Resignation
Poetic Resignation 
The name is good, the brand is big
But the work I do is that of a pig
The work or the brand; what is my way?
I don't know if I should stay.
To work, they have set their own way
Nobody will care to hear what I say
My will be NULL, they wont change their way
I don't know if I should stay.
The project is in a critical stage
But to do good work, this is the age
This dilemma is killing me day by day
I don't know if I should stay.
The money is good, the place is great
But the development is at a very small rate
Should I go for the work, or wait for pay
I don't know if I should stay!
The managers don't know what they talk
The team doesn't know where they walk
That's a bad situation, what say?
I don't know if I should stay.
I can go to any other place
But what if I get the same disgrace
I can't keep switching day by day
I don't know if I should stay.
The -ves are more, the +ves are less
Then why have this unnecessary mess
No more will I walk their way,
It's all done, I won't stay.
Thanks & Regards
Employee

Manager Response
Reply: What I want to say?

(Manager)

The decision is good or decision is bad
Only God knows still I am glad
Keep moving in life that is what I can say
If you feel right go in the same way
May god give you the work, the challenge you want
Anyway there is always a second chance
Chances are there, grab them snatch them
That is what I can say
Keep on jumping companies to get more and more and more....
That will keep you always a fore (Even to me)
>From my experience I can tell you
Being in software development is like taking hell out of you
You are frustrated since you have no quality work
And you were frustrated because you had quantity work
It's always like that previous job was better than the current one
And expects the new job will be much better than this one
But what you get is a frustration level up to sun
Than you will again send the resignation like this one
This is all what I want to say
Have you completed all the formalities?
Filled the form and got it signed from department humanities (HR)
Once done you can take all your cash
But don't refer others as they will follow you're a*s.
At last I appreciate your contribution to the company
Even though there was not any....
You will keep a copy of this with you for FYI
Don't feel shy
As I also got it some time back from my old manger say Hi....
That is all what I want to say.

2009 Oscar Nominations
 Best motion picture of the year

• The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
• Frost/Nixon
• Milks
• The Reader
• Slumdog Millionaire

 Performance by an actor in a leading role

• Richard Jenkins in The Visitor
• Frank Langella in Frost/Nixon
• Sean Penn in Milk
• Brad Pitt in The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
• Mickey Rourke in The Wrestler

 Performance by an actor in a supporting role

• Josh Brolin in Milk
• Robert Downey Jr. in Tropic Thunder
• Philip Seymour Hoffman in Doubt
• Heath Ledger in The Dark Knight
• Michael Shannon in Revolutionary Road

 Performance by an actress in a leading role

• Anne Hathaway in Rachel Getting Married
• Angelina Jolie in Changeling
• Melissa Leo in Frozen River
• Meryl Streep in Doubt
• Kate Winslet in The Reader

 Performance by an actress in a supporting role

• Amy Adams in Doubt
• Penélope Cruz in Vicky Cristina Barcelona
• Viola Davis in Doubt
• Taraji P. Henson in The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
• Marisa Tomei in The Wrestler

 Best animated feature film of the year

• Bolt, Chris Williams and Byron Howard
• Kung Fu Panda, John Stevenson and Mark Osborne
• WALL-E, Andrew Stanton

 Achievement in art direction

• Changeling, Art Direction: James J. Murakami, Set Decoration: Gary Fettis
• The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Art Direction: Donald Graham Burt, Set Decoration: Victor J. Zolfo
• The Dark Knight, Art Direction: Nathan Crowley, Set Decoration: Peter Lando
• The Duchess, Art Direction: Michael Carlin, Set Decoration: Rebecca Alleway
• Revolutionary Road, Art Direction: Kristi Zea, Set Decoration: Debra Schutt

 Achievement in cinematography

• Changeling, Tom Stern
• The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Claudio Miranda
• The Dark Knight, Wally Pfister
• The Reader, Chris Menges and Roger Deakins
• Slumdog Millionaire, Anthony Dod Mantle

 Achievement in costume design

• Australia, Catherine Martin
• The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Jacqueline West
• The Duchess, Michael O’Connor
• Milk, Danny Glicker
• Revolutionary Road, Albert Wolsky

 Achievement in directing

• The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, David Fincher
• Frost/Nixon, Ron Howard
• Milk, Gus Van Sant
• The Reader, Stephen Daldry
• Slumdog Millionaire, Danny Boyle

 Best documentary feature

• The Betrayal, A Pandinlao Films Production, Ellen Kuras and Thavisouk Phrasavath
• Encounters at the End of the World, A Creative Differences Production, Werner Herzog and Henry Kaiser
• The Garden A Black Valley Films Production, Scott Hamilton Kennedy
• Man on Wire, A Wall to Wall Production, James Marsh and Simon Chinn
• Trouble the Water, An Elsewhere Films Production, Tia Lessin and Carl Deal

 Best documentary short subject

• The Conscience of Nhem En A Farallon Films Production, Steven Okazaki
• The Final Inch A Vermilion Films Production, Irene Taylor Brodsky and Tom Grant
• Smile Pinki A Principe Production, Megan Mylan
• The Witness - From the Balcony of Room 306 A Rock Paper Scissors Production, Adam Pertofsky and Margaret Hyde

 Achievement in film editing

• The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Kirk Baxter and Angus Wall
• The Dark Knight, Lee Smith
• Frost/Nixon, Mike Hill and Dan Hanley
• Milk, Elliot Graham
• Slumdog Millionaire, Chris Dickens

 Best foreign language film of the year

• The Baader Meinhof Complex A Constantin Film Production, Germany
• The Class, A Haut et Court Production, France
• Departures, A Departures Film Partners Production, Japan
• Revanche, A Prisma Film/Fernseh Production, Austria
• Waltz with Bashir, A Bridgit Folman Film Gang Production, Israel

 Achievement in makeup

• The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Greg Cannom
• The Dark Knight, John Caglione, Jr. and Conor O’Sullivan
• Hellboy II: The Golden Army, Mike Elizalde and Thom Floutz

 Achievement in music written for motion pictures

• The Curious Case of Benjamin Button,Alexandre Desplat
• Defiance, James Newton Howard
• Milk, Danny Elfman
• Slumdog Millionaire, A.R. Rahman
• WALL-E, Thomas Newman

 Achievement in music written for motion pictures

• Down to Earth from WALL-E, Music by Peter Gabriel and Thomas Newman, Lyric by Peter Gabriel
• Jai Ho from Slumdog Millionaire, Music by A.R. Rahman, Lyric by Gulzar
• O Saya from Slumdog Millionaire, Music and Lyric by A.R. Rahman andMaya Arulpragasam

 Best animated short film

• La Maison en Petits Cubes A Robot Communications Production, Kunio Kato
• Lavatory - Lovestory A Melnitsa Animation Studio and CTB Film Company Production, Konstantin Bronzit
• Oktapodi A Gobelins, L’école de l’image Production, Emud Mokhberi and Thierry Marchand
• Presto A Pixar Animation Studios Production, Doug Sweetland
• This Way Up, A Nexus Production, Alan Smith and Adam Foulkes

 Best live action short film

• Auf der Strecke, An Academy of Media Arts Cologne Production, Reto Caffi
• Manon on the Asphalt, A La Luna Production, Elizabeth Marre and Olivier Pont
• New Boy, A Zanzibar Films Production, Steph Green and Tamara Anghie
• The Pig An M & M Production, Tivi Magnusson and Dorte Høgh
• Spielzeugland A Mephisto Film Production, Jochen Alexander Freydank

 Achievement in sound editing

• The Dark Knight, Richard King
• Iron Man, Frank Eulner and Christopher Boyes
• Slumdog Millionaire, Tom Sayers
• WALL-E, Ben Burtt and Matthew Wood
• Wanted,Wylie Stateman

 Achievement in sound mixing

• The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, David Parker, Michael Semanick, Ren Klyce and Mark Weingarten
• The Dark Knight, Lora Hirschberg, Gary Rizzo and Ed Novick
• Slumdog Millionaire, Ian Tapp, Richard Pryke and Resul Pookutty
• WALL-E,Tom Myers, Michael Semanick and Ben Burtt
• Wanted, Chris Jenkins, Frank A. Montaño and Petr Forejt

 Achievement in visual effects

• The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Eric Barba, Steve Preeg, Burt Dalton and Craig Barron
• The Dark Knight, Nick Davis, Chris Corbould, Tim Webber and Paul Franklin
• Iron Man, John Nelson, Ben Snow, Dan Sudick and Shane Mahan

 Adapted screenplay

• The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Screenplay by Eric Roth, Screen story by Eric Roth and Robin Swicord
• Doubt, Written by John Patrick Shanley
• Frost/Nixon, Screenplay by Peter Morgan
• The Reader, Screenplay by David Hare
• Slumdog Millionaire, Screenplay by Simon Beaufoy

 Original screenplay

• Frozen River, Written by Courtney Hunt
• Happy-Go-Lucky, Written by Mike Leigh
• In Bruges, Written by Martin McDonagh
• Milk, Written by Dustin Lance Black
• WALL-E, Screenplay by Andrew Stanton, Jim Reardon, Original story by Andrew Stanton, Pete Docter

 Award Counts
• The Curious Case of Benjamin Button: 13
•  Slumdog Millionaire: 10
•  The Dark Knight: 8
•  Milk: 8
•  The Reader: 5
•  Frost/Nixon: 5
•  Doubt: 5
•  Revolutionary Road: 3

• Livewires (Career Institute in Broadcasting n’ Film), Mumbai
• Desires and Destination, Mumbai
• The Voice School, Mumbai
• EMDI Institute, Mumbai
• Xavier Institute of Communication, Mumbai
• Isomes Bag Films, Noida
• Asian Academy of Film & Television, Noida

• Sign on a  railway station at Patna
Aana free, jaana  free,
pakde gaye to khana free.
• Seen on a famous beauty parlor in Bombay
Don't whistle at the girl going out from here.
She may be your grandmother!
• Seen on a  bulletin board
Success is  relative
More the success, more the relatives.
• Sign at a  barber's saloon in Juhu, Bombay
we need your  heads to run our business.
• A traffic  slogan
Don't let your kids drive if they are not old enough - or else they never will  be.....
• Its God's responsibility to forgive the terrorist organizations
It's our responsibility to arrange the meeting between them and god."
- Indian Armed Forces 

Very Touching. A certain rich businessman had a
beautiful daughter, who fell in love with a guy who was a
cleaner.When the girl's father came to know about their love, he did
not like it at all, and so began to protest about it.Now it happened
that the two lovers decided to leave their homes for a happy future.
The girl's father started searching for the two lovers but could not
find them.At last, he accepted their love and asked them to come back
home in a local newspaper. Her father said, "If you both come back I
will allow you to marry the guy you love, I accept that you loved
each other truly."So in this way, their love won and they returned
home. The couple went to town to shop for the wedding dress. He was
dressed in white shirt that day.While he was crossing the road to the
other side to get some drinks for his wife, a car came and hit him
and he died on the spot. The girl lost her senses. It was only after
sometimes that she recovered from her shock.The funeral and cremation
was the very next day because he had died horribly.Two nights later,
the girl's mother had a dream in which she saw an old lady. The old
lady asked her mother to wash the bloodstains of the guy from her
daughter's dress as soon as possible. But her mother ignored the
dream.The next night her father had the same dream, he also ignored
it.Then when the girl had the same dream the next night, she woke up
in fear and told her mother about the dream. Her mother asked her to
wash the clothes, which have bloodstains immediately.She washed the
stains but some remained. Next night she again had the same dream she
again washed the stains but some still remained.Next night she again
had the same dream and this time the old lady gave her a last warning
to wash the bloodstain, or else something terrible will happen. This
time the girl tried her best to wash the stains, and the clothes
nearly tore, but some stains still remained.She was very tired.In the
late evening the same day while she was alone at home, someone
knocked the door. When she opened the door she saw the same old lady
of her dream standing at her door. She got very scared and fainted.
The old lady woke her up... and gave her a blue object,which shocked
the girl.She asked "What is this...?" The old lady replied...Try Rin
Supreme Washing Powder... just a dab and it will remove all stubborn
stains!!!" .

A guy lost his girlfriend in a train accident... but the gal's name nowhere appeared in the dead list. This guy grew up and became IT technical architect in his late 20's, achievement in itself!!

He hired developers from the whole globe and plan to make a software where he could search for his gf through the web...

Things went as planned... and he found her, after losing millions of dollars and 3 long years!!

It was time to shut down the search operation, when the CEO of Google had a
word with this guy n took over this application. This Software made a whopping 1 billion dollars profit in its first year, which we today know as ORKUT.

The guy's name is Orkut Büyükkökten Yes it's named after him only. Today he is paid a hefty sum by Google for the things we do like scrapping. He is expected to b the richest person by 2009. Orkut Büyükkökten today has 13 assistants to monitor his scrapbook & 8 to monitor his friends-list. He gets around 20,000 friend-requests a day & about 85,000 scraps!!!

Know Some amazing facts about this guy:

He gets $12 from Google when every person registers to this website.
He also gets $10 when you add somebody as a friend.
He gets $8 when your friend's friend adds you as a friend & gets $6 if anybody adds you as friend in the resulting chain.
He gets $5 when you scrap somebody & $4 when somebody scraps you.
He also gets $200 for each photograph you upload on Orkut.
He gets $2.5 when you add your friend in the crush-list or in the hot-list.
He gets $2 when you become somebody's fan.
He gets $1.5 when somebody else becomes your fan.
He even gets $1 every time you logout of Orkut.
He gets $0.5 every time you just change your profile-photograph.
He also gets $0.5 every time you read your friend's scrap-book & $0.5 every time you view your friend's friend-list.

SHOCKING HEALTH FACTS:                                                                         
• Don't put your mobile closer to your ears until the recipient answers, Because directly after dialing, the mobile phone would use it's maximum signaling power, which is: 2watts = 33dbi. Please Be Careful. Please use left ear while using cell (mobile), because if you use the right one it may affect brain directly. This is a true fact from Apollo medical team.
 
• Please do not show sympathy to people selling buds on roadside or at Signals by buying their ear buds (instead you can give them money without taking their ear buds)..... Just wanted to warn you people not to buy those packs of ear buds you get at the roadside. Those were made from cotton that has already been used in hospitals. They take all the dirty, blood and pus filled cotton, wash it, bleach it and use it to make ear buds. So, unless you want to become the first person in the world to get Herpes Zoster Oticus (a viral infection of the inner, middle, and external ear) of the ear and that too from a cotton bud, DON'T BUY THEM

Please Pay the Tax!!!!!!!!
1) Qus. : What are you doing?
Ans. : Business.
Tax : PAY PROFESSIONAL TAX!

2) Qus. : What are you doing in Business?
Ans. : Selling the Goods.
Tax : PAY SALES TAX!!

3) Qus. : From where are you getting Goods?
Ans. : From other State/Abroad
Tax : PAY CENTRAL SALES TAX, CUSTOM DUTY & OCTROI!

4) Qus. : What are you getting in Selling Goods?
Ans. : Profit.
Tax : PAY INCOME TAX!

5) Qus. : How do you distribute profit ?
Ans : By way of dividend
Tax : Pay DIVIDEND DISTRIBUTION TAX

6) Qus. : Where you Manufacturing the Goods?
Ans. : Factory.
Tax : PAY EXCISE DUTY!

7) Qus. : Do you have Office / Warehouse/ Factory?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY MUNICIPAL & FIRE TAX!

8) Qus. : Do you have Staff?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY STAFF PROFESSIONAL TAX!

9) Qus. : Doing business in Millions?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY TURNOVER TAX!
Ans : No
Tax : Then pay Minimum Alternate Tax

10) Qus. : Are you taking out over 25,000 Cash from Bank?
Ans. : Yes, for Salary..
Tax : PAY CASH HANDLING TAX!

11) Qus.: Where are you taking your client for Lunch & Dinner?
Ans. : Hotel
Tax : PAY FOOD & ENTERTAINMENT TAX!

12) Qus.: Are you going Out of Station for Business?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY FRINGE BENEFIT TAX!

13) Qus.: Have you taken or given any Service/s?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY SERVICE TAX!

14) Qus.: How come you got such a Big Amount?
Ans. : Gift on birthday.
Tax : PAY GIFT TAX!

15) Qus.: Do you have any Wealth?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY WEALTH TAX!

16) Qus.: To reduce Tension, for entertainment, where are you
going?
Ans. : Cinema or Resort.
Tax : PAY ENTERTAINMENT TAX!

17) Qus.: Have you purchased House?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY STAMP DUTY & REGISTRATION FEE !

18) Qus.: How you Travel?
Ans. : Bus
Tax : PAY SURCHARGE!

19) Qus.: Any Additional Tax?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY EDUCATIONAL, ADDITIONAL EDUCATIONAL & SURCHARGE ON ALL THE
CENTRAL GOVT.'s TAX !!!

20) Qus..: Delayed any time Paying Any Tax?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY INTEREST & PENALTY!

21) INDIAN :: Can I die now??
Ans :: Please wait,  we are about to launch the funeral tax!!!